Scared

My dad was moving and needed help making the drive from Albany, NY to his new home in Port Charlotte, FL.  That means from Thursday night until Saturday night, I did the majority of 20+ hours of driving.  When I drive, I like to listen to podcasts; Weightlifting Talk, The TED Radio Hour, Invisibilia, The Joe Rogan Experience...

On the drive, I listened to this part of a TED talk and I was shocked.  Apparently, telling people your goal reduces the chances you'll ever achieve it.  It's especially shocking because when I put this post (describing my goals) out there, I didn't feel satisfied at having accomplished something.  I felt scared.

What ifs were flying through my mind; what if I get injured (it's happened before, especially when I push my limits)?  what if I don't get any stronger (I'm 41 and don't have the T levels I used to)?  what if I do all of the training and bomb out under pressure at a big meet?  what if I can't find time to train with a full-time job and 2 boys?  What if?

What if?

What if fear isn't really such a bad thing?

My biggest fear is that I would put the goal out there and not follow through on it.

What if I don't do enough?  What if I'm not pushing hard enough?  What if I'm not missing enough?  What if there aren't enough squats in my program?  What if I'm not competing enough?

A lot of people think fear is a negative emotion, but champions are partially driven by their fear of failure not just their vision of success.

It drove me to get to 13 Stripes CrossFit in Harrisburg, PA at 6am on Friday morning.

It drove me to get to CrossFit Wappoo at 8am on Saturday morning.

And, it drove me to get up this morning to start training at 5am.

The work is getting done.  The training is paying off.  I hit a Back Squat PR this morning.  That hasn't happened in over 2 years!!!  2 years of stagnancy,  I will hit 115/140 soon.  

More about how fear makes champions in this podcast.